i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
