im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
