do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Randomize
