He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
home. puking in laundry basket.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Randomize
