finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I AM VODKA MAN
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Randomize
