HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
well you can't waste a boner
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
