google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
