Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Randomize
