I hate all girls vehemently.
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Randomize
