I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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