Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
