respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
