So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
