I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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