It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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