i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
