I think I died a long time ago.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
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