That's intense
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
