i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
