Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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