The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
they're like a gay fantastic four
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
