If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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