I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
