Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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