First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
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