he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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