wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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