He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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