Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Girls should come with a carfax report
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
