yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Randomize
