is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Randomize
