he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
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