I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
