I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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