a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
