After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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