She announced her abortion via fbk
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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