so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
