I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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