ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Sponge bath it is.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
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in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
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Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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