I swear she didn't look like that last week.
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
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