I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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