apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
where am i from again
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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