if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
