I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I love you.
Bad choice
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