I hate all girls vehemently.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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