I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
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