i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
