Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I feel like abortions should bother me more
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
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