I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
