I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
