He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Randomize
