I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
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