Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
