after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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