I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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