I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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