Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
