Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Randomize
