I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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