ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
