yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
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