i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
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Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
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How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
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