she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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